Friday, November 5, 2010
Cancer Bitch - The Audacity of Hope
I won't bury the lead - today (Friday) I had another CT scan and my tumor has shrunk another millimeter. The tumor on my liver has disappeared. So, to celebrate, my doctor is putting me on another round of chemo until the end of December, then he promises me a break.
Its been almost a year since I was diagnosed and I really didn't think I'd see another Christmas. One friend (and unofficial life coach) told me that I had given up and it was true. I wouldn't buy myself new clothes to fit my new weight unless they were from Wal-Mart or a yard sale. I was giving my stuff away (sound familiar "crazed stringbean"?
Last week, two buddies from college paid a visit. On our way out of the house, headed to the mall, I stopped to rummage in my purse for my medicine and, Lord, if we all weren't reaching for the water bottle to take our meds! We had a good laugh about our mutual decrepitude. Before they left, Lady T gave me a book by Thea Bowman, a Roman Catholic nun who died of cancer in 1990, Thea Bowman: In My Own Words
My favorite quote:
"Part of my approach to my illness has been to say I want to choose life, I want to keep going, I want to live fully until I die... I don't know what the future holds. In the meantime, I am making a conscious effort to learn to live with discomfort, and, at the same time, to go about my work. I find that when I am involved in the business of life, when I'm working with people...I feel better. A kind of strength and energy comes with that."
So, ya'll. I went out and bought a new wardrobe. Jones New York and rocking some new boots. (um, Steve, we need to talk....)