Friday, November 5, 2010

Cancer Bitch - The Audacity of Hope

I won't bury the lead - today (Friday) I had another CT scan and my tumor has shrunk another millimeter. The tumor on my liver has disappeared. So, to celebrate, my doctor is putting me on another round of chemo until the end of December, then he promises me a break.

Its been almost a year since I was diagnosed and I really didn't think I'd see another Christmas. One friend (and unofficial life coach) told me that I had given up and it was true. I wouldn't buy myself new clothes to fit my new weight unless they were from Wal-Mart or a yard sale. I was giving my stuff away (sound familiar "crazed stringbean"?

Last week, two buddies from college paid a visit. On our way out of the house, headed to the mall, I stopped to rummage in my purse for my medicine and, Lord, if we all weren't reaching for the water bottle to take our meds! We had a good laugh about our mutual decrepitude. Before they left, Lady T gave me a book by Thea Bowman, a Roman Catholic nun who died of cancer in 1990, Thea Bowman: In My Own Words

My favorite quote:

"Part of my approach to my illness has been to say I want to choose life, I want to keep going, I want to live fully until I die... I don't know what the future holds. In the meantime, I am making a conscious effort to learn to live with discomfort, and, at the same time, to go about my work. I find that when I am involved in the business of life, when I'm working with people...I feel better. A kind of strength and energy comes with that."

So, ya'll. I went out and bought a new wardrobe. Jones New York and rocking some new boots. (um, Steve, we need to talk....)

Life is.


Diane Dimond said...

You so rock, Brenda Box Johnson!

Now, I want to see pictures of you in your new wardrobe - minus those crazy spine-cracking 6 inch heels Nelly let you try on that time.

Seriously, your news is manna from heaven for those of us who worry and pray for you on a daily basis. (Wo)man-up and take that next round of chemo to beat that bitch into oblivion!

If you need to take a little break head up north and come see us again. We'll hot tub, play pool and eat homemade cooking. Okay, I'll even make another run to LuLu's for more of those decadent cupcakes!

Wonderful news that makes me all weepy. Love and hugs, DD

Lynne said...

THAT'S what I'M talkin' about! Victories every day!

felicia said...

Yah, Brenda. Great to hear about those tumors shrinking and disappearing, and about the new wardrobe, too. You're something else, woman. Many cheers!!!

jallen said...

Your blog was the first thing I read today -- and now I can't stop smiling. This is the most wonderful news. Life is good.

Diana said...

Brenda dear you have made my year!
You are a testament to living the best life ever!
I am dumbstruck! Thrilled! Happy! I can't believe your strength!
Love Di

BaysidePartners said...

This is the news we've all been waiting to hear! THANK GOD - it's evidence that prayers must work. Love you, Box and keep up the good fight!

Ree-C said...

This is fabulous news; I believe in the power of prayer and am not about to start letting up on them. I'm SOO happy you are getting rid of the baggy-butt pants and getting back to your sassy self. Beat that bitch!!

Moe said...

So happy to hear it. You clearly need a hat and a trip to the rodeo with some new boots.

Kim said...

'Decrepitude'!!! LOL!!! Every since I was little, I could always count on you to give me an interesting word to add to my vocabulary
I Love you Brend!

michael said...

Brenda you have always had that touch of magic and when you set out to make the little pests go away, you are making them go away. More positive thoughts and prayers say go bump it up a notch and shop for some rockin' boots and kick up your heels in joy.
Charlene & Mic

tracirabin said...

God bless & keep strong! May your cancer be gone soon!