Sunday, September 19, 2010

Cancer Bitch and Crazy Cancer Bitch

I've always swung back and forth on Elizabeth Edwards. I've admired her fight against breast cancer, admired her books - then "Game Change" was published and I read about the "abusive, intrusive, paranoid and crazy" Elizabeth Edwards. Who is this woman?

Last week I watched the "Nate Berkus Show and his interview with her was fascinating. She's opened her own interior design store, "Red Window," because she wanted something for her future that had nothing to do with her past. She talked candidly about her divorce from John Edwards. (hasn't decided yet what to do with the photos of the two of them hanging on the wall) She said they are amicable - "I see the father of my children, and that’s very important to me. Particularly since I have a terminal disease, this is the person who at some point will take over the primary parenting, and it’s important to me that he heals if he needs too."

She knows she has a year, maybe two, and described her life as "a sled going downhill." She also said she's accepted John's baby with Rielle- going as far to say she'd thought about buying stuff at Baby Gap - because the child was innocent and would be growing up with her kids after she was gone. But she hasn't quite forgiven him yet. Oh, and she also admitted she's a bargain shopper:

The interview was taped at her house in Chapel Hill. She was supposed to appear live later on in the show but instead skyped in from North Carolina - she's on a new cancer medication, looked frail and had lost her hair again. Damn, I'm starting to admire her again.....

Friday, September 17, 2010

Cancer Bitch and Fear at Hopkins

All of this madness occurred Thursday - fortunately, my appointment was on Friday. My appointments are in the Weinberg Building, next door to Nelson. It was all my nurses today could talk about. They said Thursday it was business as usual, even though they were in lockdown - too many patients depending on treatment - so they kept working. Wow. I'd have been ready to run for the hills!

Now for the good news. It seems I've won the lottery - at least as far as pancreatic cancer is concerned. The CT scan shows my tumor has shrunk a little bit more, so the doctor is going to have me undergo two more rounds. Steve asked what happens after that, and Dr. Zeng didn't know - he says pancreatic cancer patients don't usually make it to this point. So I guess I was kind of premature in giving away a bunch of my stuff. And, yes, I will take better care of myself. No more nightly ice cream binges. ("Lemon Custard" day isn't until September 24 at Milwaukee Custard)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Cancer Bitch Takes a Snooze

This week's weird symptom: everytime I nod my head forward, the bottoms of my feet tingle. No one can explain why this happens - the doctor just looks at me and says, "chemo isn't doing this." The nurse told me I can avoid this by not nodding my head.

My chemo session went well this week - got in and out in record time, and slept through the entire procedure. The nurse actually had to wake me up to unplug me. Marlis was my driver - we got back early enough to get lunch and make a "Ross" run.
Next week I get yet another CT scan and have a meeting with my Doctor.

I blame "chemo brain" for forgetting that my wedding anniversary was a celebration of 17 years of marriage - not 15, and not 18! I don't do math. It was a wonderful weekend. Mary and Phil flew in from Idaho for the Boise State game and we had Saturday brunch at Eastern Market. (fish breakfast with North Carolina grits and scrambled eggs). We also bought homemade Pop Tarts at another restaurant.

Steve and I went out to a wonderful dinner at the Old Anglers Inn (I had scallops, he had Prime Rib). Sunday we went over to Mike and Geri's for dinner and other friends surprised us there. (Pound Cake with Chambord Sauce!) Thank goodness I still have an appetite.
We have wonderful friends.