Interactivity

Cancer Bitch - Holiday Part 2

2012-02-08T18:40:00.000-08:00

Yes, y'all. I get another chemo holiday! Tumor hasn't shrunk, but its not growing either. I promise not to lose my mind this time around. I've cut my one cupcake-a-day habit (just kidding)
Just have to check in with Johns Hopkins once a month, for the time being. Don't know how long it will last but I WILL enjoy it!

(AS IF! I love Madonna, but this is what I wore to an NABJ Halloween party, circa 1983. With lots of help from Jenna Lamond)

Cancer Bitch - Gets her Pa'ina (party) on!

2012-01-12T13:22:00.000-08:00

Confession - I partied my ass off over the Holidays. If you gave a party, I was there. And now, we're heading to Pensacola to celebrate my Mom's 80th birthday! Whoot!

This is the woman who taught me to take chances. To love sushi, hula, powwows, rodeo and Tex Mex food. She wasn't afraid to try anything, including joining the Army straight out of high school at age 17, in order to build a life, or going to Saudi Arabia to rebuild her life.

The theme for her party is "Aloha" which means "peace" and "love" and also, lately, "hello" in Hawaiian. So, we going "lolo"(crazy), will shower her with leis and have da kine luau!

My energy is good, chemo continues, for now, and I'm resigned to this being the new normal.

My New Year's Resolution is "stop it." A friend sent me a great list of "30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself," including "stop trying to make things perfect," and "stop holding grudges." Okay that last one is hard 'cuz I can be evil. I'm working on it....

Another great list I found, "How to Talk About Your Cancer." Please, please, please let me know when I slip into "pity party" mode.

Meanwhile, enjoy the spirit of "Aloha!" (this video is the real deal - stuff tourists don't see)

Okay, one more video. Dese da kine fine kane (men)!

Pau Hana (all done - peace out!)

Cancer Bitch - Taking it to the Streets

2011-10-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I've been doing battle with my HR Department since August - I've run out of sick leave, so I requested donations. I filled out the forms - had my doctor fill out the forms - then sat back to wait. And wait. And wait. Sent an email query, which went unanswered. Left a voice message. No response. In late September, a co-worker brought up the issue of leave donations at a staff meeting. Later I was told I had turned in the wrong forms.

Finally, in October, a new HR person was assigned my case, and - she got everything worked out that day. Still don't know why the first guy ignored my existence. Another co-worker walked the leave donation forms over to HR a week ago. As of the last time I checked, the leave donations have NOT been credited. Sigh....

On another note, Steve Jobs and I did NOT have the same kind of pancreatic cancer. Mine is worse. But, apparently unlike Steve, I'm throwing everything but the kitchen sink at it, so keep your fingers crossed. At my last visit, Doctors told me my tumor markers were up (only slightly) and they made me meet with a Dietician. So if you see me eating sugary goodies, feel free to slap it out of my hands. (or just eat it yourself - waste not want not)

Steve Jobs wasted time on alternative medicine

In other news, for some reason, my medicine is now readily available. The shortage is now over. Wonder why?

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Finally, Tuesday, October 25 is National Dial Congress for Progress Day! During this one-day event, volunteers are asked to make 1 to 2 phone calls to their Members of Congress who have not yet co-sponsored the Pancreatic Cancer Research & Education Act. All you have to do is reserve 10 minutes on October 25 between the hours of 9am to 5pm ET to participate. There's more information on the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.

Happy Halloween!

Cancer Bitch - Can't Stop

2011-09-20T03:22:00.001-07:00

Suddenly my medication is back in supply. Could it be because of the Senate bill recently filed? Hmmm.

H.R. 2245 would require all drug manufacturers to give the FDA at least six months’ notice for a discontinuance or interruption in drug production, or face fines. It would also require the HHS Secty to notify drugmakers if a drug is vulnerable to a shortage. Sen. Klobuchar has introduced a companion measure (S 296) in the Senate. The current authorization of the FDA’s drug review process expires in fall 2012, Sens Harkin and Enzi have pledged to mark up the reauthorization measure by early next spring. (CQ Today 9/13/11)

Monday afternoon, I received the phone call from my nurse telling me to throw out the Xeloda, I'm back on 5FU as of Tuesday afternoon - which means 3 days every other week of lying around on infusion therapy. I have mixed feelings about that. On one hand, I was mobile on Xeloda - went back to work the day after chemo. On the other hand, its turning my hands and feet black - and no one has any idea if its working as well as the 5FU.

So I'm back to watching "Judge Judy," and feeling yucky. On the other hand, 5FU has worked wonders so far, so I'll suck it up and welcome Nurse Hung back with some brownies.

Theme for Today's drive to Johns Hopkins -

Nelly's driving me to JH again. I'll need your prayers!

Cancer Bitch - Coming Up Short

2011-08-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gone out for a steak dinner only to be told that they'd run out? But you can substitute a hot dog.

Yeah, that was my reaction when I was told that I have to do another round of chemo, Oh, and there might be a shortage of the chemo drug. And, if I can't obtain it, here's a prescription for another drug that might work as well but has lots of side effects.

No one can say why there is a shortage. No one can say when it will end.

According to the New York Times, More than half the recent chemotherapy drug shortages have resulted because government or company inspectors found problems like microbial contamination that can be lethal on injection. Others have occurred because of capacity problems at drug plants or lack of interest because of low profits, according to the FDA.

Dr. Robert Mayer of the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston said, '"One could say that substituting Pepsi for Coca-Cola doesn't make a difference. Maybe it does and maybe it doesn't, but more often it might be substituting 7-UP for Coca-Cola, and that might make a difference."

My doctor gave me a prescription for a pill to substitute for the chemo drug, 5FU( fluorouracil). The side effects of the pill are pretty radical - blisters in your mouth and on your hands and feet.

Another example of letting the market place decide who lives or dies, rather than the so-called government death panels. Gee, who do I trust more with my life?

UPDATE - Johns Hopkins telephoned today (Aug 22) to let me know I would NOT be receiving 5FU because of the shortage. They do not know when the shortage will end. And, please let them know if the side effects from the replacement drug (Xeloda) make my life a living hell. Cheery-bye!

UPDATE #2 - (Aug 23) Chemo session ended just as earthquake hit. Steve and I were grinning at each other, "earthquake! Awesome!" Then saw staff running from the building freaking out. Tried to talk about paperwork with my nurse but she was too busy grabbing her purse to evacuate. People standing outside the hospital under a glass and metal atrium. NOT a good idea.

UPDATE #3 (Aug 24) Got the new meds and started today. Same thing - tired and nauseous. Sigh...

On a happier note, I saw my former nurse, Roz, while eating lunch in the cafeteria at Johns Hopkins last week. She looked happy to see me and blurted out, "you look good!" Not in that approving-sistah-to-middle-aged-sistah-kind of way, but in the startled "your still here?" sense. I took if for the compliment it was. I'm still grinning.

Cancer Bitch - Debt Ceiling Blues

2011-08-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

Which is worse?

Summertime chemo
Heat Wave from hell
A tanking 401 k
Partisan hostage taking - not only on Capitol Hill but across the country
No summer vacation (except for family reunions)
"Cowboys and Aliens"

The answer? I'm still thinking....

No, its Congress. Definitely. And at least I don't live in Wisconsin.

The chemo started out bad but, finally, the nausea stopped. My appetite went away, but came back with a vengeance. I discovered the joys of Ginger Calamari at "Zest" and made "Banana Pudding Cupcakes" for the family reunion. Also smuggled home a bag of pepperoni rolls from Westbygawd. Had what I hope is the last round this week and spent a lot of time sleeping or watching "Judge Judy." (whoa-that can't be good)

My 401 k, well, since I can't retire until I turn 90, then it has time to recover. And, when the stock market crashed, I immediately bought stock for the grandkids. I Love Sharebuilder.com. I've been using them since the demise of the last investment club I belonged too.

My family reunions were a hell of a lot of fun.

Mom's side of the family endured 104 degree temperatures and still had a great time in Maryland. (Thanks to air conditioning and a great party) During the trip to West Virginia we participated in the annual "Cornhole" tournament, were attacked by a killer bat in the hotel lobby and had the joy of shopping at the Coldwater Canyon Outlet and Gabriels.

And, "Cowboys and Aliens," well it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it wasn't the worst either. So, the summer didn't suck! At least, if you can ignore the news every now and then....

Cancer Bitch - The Party's Over

2011-06-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

Cancer is like a bad boyfriend. After smacking the shit out of you, he promises to do better, goes to AA and lulls you into a false sense of complacency. Then....

Three weeks ago, my Doctor called - he was concerned that my last blood test showed an increased level of so-called "cancer markers". He suggested one more blood test before my regularly scheduled meeting with him on Friday. Well, today he decided to put me back on chemo. My "cancer markers" are up, and, even though he didn't see an increase in the tumor size on my CT scan, he thought it better to be safe than sorry. Party's over. But, damn, I had a good time during my 6 month break!

And, you know me - the glass is always half full. There was a reason that deer took out our van, forcing Steve to buy a sedan. Now we'll be traversing the highway to Baltimore in a car that doesn't waste as much gas and has fully functioning air-conditioning! The money I put aside for the trip to California that I now wouldn't be able to take? Paid for the car. See? Master Plan. 100 degree DC summer with monster humidity? Time to cut my hair again anyway.

I confess to having had my fingers crossed, hoping to be able to see Nelly graduate. I did it. So, I'll live up to my part of the bargain and go quietly back to chemo. Although I will confess to stuffing my face with onion rings and a DQ blizzard before I have to turn myself in next week. Coping mechanism. Really. I am now officially back on celery and salad.

Back to the Master Plan... Last weekend, I clipped the newspaper before Steve and I started our day of errands and found a coupon for a discount breakfast at "Friendlys" in Burke. Sitting across from us at the restaurant was a teenager wearing a purple tee-shirt advertising the "PurpleStride DC." I was astonished and asked her about it. Turns out we were missing a walkathon for pancreatic cancer. Tuesday, June 14th was also the 5th Annual "Pancreatic Cancer Advocacy Day"on Capitol Hill. I was gobsmacked that all my internet research hadn't led me to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. So my new bargain is, if I'm healthy enough next Spring, I'm putting a purple shirt on and I'm walking the walk!

Cancer Bitch Gets Busy

2011-04-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

I mean, busy as in Spring cleaning. Get your minds out of the gutter!
Anyway, most recent Johns Hopkins visit was much like the last. Went in, had my CT scan, and waited for the Doctor. He bustles in, looks me over and says, "well I guess we'll keep you off chemo for another month or two. Come back in late June and we'll see how it goes." After he leaves, Steve and I look at each other. "What did that mean?"

Well, I guess I'm not cured, but I guess I'm not getting any worse. Reprieve!

I have two new obsessions - cleaning out the house (no more clutter) and "Game of Thrones" on HBO. Its been described as "Lord of the Rings" if it were produced by "Playboy." Jason Momoa (Khal Drogo) is fairly AWESOME! He is, apparently, Lisa Bonet's boy toy.

Winter Is Coming

Someone very dear to me once said that they admired me for continuing to work while on chemo - and that its important to keep busy. What actually kept me going was a quote from one of my favorite movies, "A Family Thing". "Being happy ain't nothin' more than havin' something to look forward to. "

I'm looking forward to college graduations, a huge picnic with friends in Rock Creek Park, Switch and Bitch, a family reunion in Maryland and another in West Virginia, chick flicks with friends.

I'm happy. Hope you are, too.

Cancer Bitch - Making Every Day Count

2011-04-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

"It's so strange to me that something so horrible could bring about so many blessings"

The "Today Show" this morning featured Elisa and Nathan Bond, a young couple battling cancer . They've been married 5 years, have a toddler - she's been diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer and he's got Stage 3 rectal cancer. While it should have been a depressing story, I was inspired by their spirit. They made the decision to celebrate each day. Like me, they blog because its cathartic and an easy way to keep in touch with family and friends. And, like me, they have a wonderful network of friends and family to see them through.

Life is like a big pot of gumbo (food obsession rears its ugly head). Its spicy, delicious and every now and then you have to spit out a crawfish head, but you keep eating.

I look forward to going to work (lot of crawfish heads, but who cares?) I'm walking Duncan everyday and trying to stick to the diet - I actually ate only HALF a lemon cupcake yesterday. And it was a damn good cupcake too.

As far as I'm concerned, everyday is Mardi Gras. And who doesn't like a religious festival with parades, great food, alcohol, and people who throw jewelry at you for showing your ta-tas? Methodists can't begin to compete.

I'm tucking some Mardi Gras beads in my purse today, just as a reminder.

Today Show Feature on Elisa and Nathan Bond

Cancer Bitch Celebrates Spring!

2011-03-04T16:30:00.000-08:00

(Great Sand Dunes National Park, Colorado)
You know the old saying,
"Want to hear God laugh? Just tell him what your plans are."

A year ago, I was sick, tired and sick of feeling crappy. I asked God to just let me live long enough to see Nelly graduate.

Today, my doctor told me that the tumor had shrunk - again, and said perhaps I need to keep closer track of my diet and exercise.

He also said to come back in April and we would see what's what. That was actually the last thing I thought I'd hear. I thought my luck had run out. But on second thought, maybe I should buy more lottery tickets. Enough of the stinkin' thinkin'.

My daffodils are beginning to grow, Easter is coming, and Nelly graduates in May. I'm living life one day at a time - and thinking maybe I should keep putting money in my retirement account. You just never know....

Cancer Bitch Livin' La Vida Loca

2011-02-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

I'm still on break. Having a good time, seeing movies. I went to the Chinese New Year's Parade with the grandbabies, and, while I nearly froze to death, I didn't get tired. Woot! I have periodic blood tests to make sure things are still in a holding pattern, and I don't go back to Johns Hopkins until early March.

There was a nice tribute on NPR to one of my party buddies from my wild, mispent youth -
Leon Wynter died recently of brain cancer.

Besides Red Velvet Cupcakes, know what makes me happy these days? Raylan Givens is back! "Justified" returns to FX on February 9. It's based on Elmore Leonard stories ("Out of Sight", "Get Shorty,") and there's a tiny "Justified" fan club at work. I'm currently listening to an Elmore Leonard book-on-CD, "Up in Honey's Room."

"Community" has also returned. I know. I AM a simple organism....

Enjoy February.

Cancer Bitch Takes a Vacation

2011-01-07T16:49:00.000-08:00

Not trying to bury the lead - My Doctor is giving me a 2 month chemo holiday!

My latest CT scan showed no growth, I'm eating like a horse (would that it really were just oats and hay) and I'm feeling perky. Also, the chemo has caused me to lose feeling in my fingers and toes and it would be nice to be able to manipulate a button again. Like Grace Makutsi, I used to take inordinate pride in my ability to type 55 wpm. (97 percent!)

Unlike Aretha Franklin ("my health problem has been resolved"), I'm not cured. But I'm still here. Maybe coming off chemo will make me less of a bitch. Or not, who am I kidding?

Finally, must give a shout out to Anne Francis, "Honey West," who died of pancreatic cancer last week at the age of 80. I adored her! "Honey" was the first female private eye on TV -owned her agency, used high tech gadgets and karate, and had a man-hating pet ocelet named "Bruce Biteabit." Did I mention the custom built convertible "Cobra" sports car? RIP Honey.

Cancer Bitch and the Season of Giving

2010-12-08T13:01:00.000-08:00

This was supposed to be a positive post about Christmas and the power of friends and family. But I couldn't proceed without giving a shout out to Elizabeth Edwards and Ree Ree. Elizabeth died Tuesday - I heard about it shortly after returning from yet another round of chemo at Johns Hopkins. She was my role model. She handled her cancer with grace and good sense.

I hope Ree Ree can do the same. Aretha Franklin was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Its a hard road. They didn't say what her surgery was, but I hope it was a full whipple. It's the only kind of surgery that will buy you time. I wasn't eligible for it, but my fingers are crossed for her. I guess the only good news is she will FINALLY lose some weight. Not the best way to diet, but, hey, I'm all about making lemonade out of lemons....

Now, back to the positive. Christmas is the time for giving and I have two suggestions for holiday donations. God's Love We Deliver is a New York based charity that provides nutritious food to AIDS and cancer patients. I also recommend donations to the Johns Hopkins Pancreatic Cancer Research Center. Lets whip this bitch! Um, I mean, Merry Christmas...

Cancer Bitch - Gives Thanks

2010-11-24T18:27:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to be thankful for. But it didn't take Thanksgiving to make me realize that.

Thanks to everyone who has driven my whiny butt to Johns Hopkins this year.

Thanks for the soups, casseroles, food gift cards, and the dinners out.

Thanks to everyone who said I look good bald.

Thanks to everyone who said my wig made me look like Mary J. Blige,
Thank you for the hats and scarves.

And, thank you to my family for being weird, wild, wacky and for being there.

(leaf prints on sidewalk in front of our house)

Cancer Bitch - Gets Rubbed the Right Way

2010-11-07T12:33:00.000-08:00

I now have an excuse to get regular massages. A new study shows that it provides benefits for those with cancer or lots of stress. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine says "it boosts the body's infection-fighting white blood cells while also bringing down levels of immunity-weakening cortisol."

I recently booked a deep tissue massage at the Dansk Day Spa in Occoquan. When I told a colleague, she was concerned it would be too much for me.

"This is a regular massage," she said, taking my hand and gently rubbing it with hers. "This is a Swedish massage," she began rubbing her thumbs into the back of my hand. "And this is Deep Tissue massage," she dug her elbow into the back of my hand. Yikes! She advised me to ask for a "Swedish Massage and tell them to go deep."

It was too much for my chemo addled brain to process, so I went ahead with the Deep Tissue and came out just fine. I was not sore the next day as many had predicted. I went back last weekend and had the Swedish Massage. It was HEAVEN! I have another appointment with Angie in mid-December, probably when I'll need it the most. I don't know if it helps, but it sure as hell feels good!

And, now, here it is - your moment of zen. Sit in a quiet place in the Lotus position and say, "Ommmmmm...."

Cancer Bitch - The Audacity of Hope

2010-11-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

I won't bury the lead - today (Friday) I had another CT scan and my tumor has shrunk another millimeter. The tumor on my liver has disappeared. So, to celebrate, my doctor is putting me on another round of chemo until the end of December, then he promises me a break.

Its been almost a year since I was diagnosed and I really didn't think I'd see another Christmas. One friend (and unofficial life coach) told me that I had given up and it was true. I wouldn't buy myself new clothes to fit my new weight unless they were from Wal-Mart or a yard sale. I was giving my stuff away (sound familiar "crazed stringbean"?

Last week, two buddies from college paid a visit. On our way out of the house, headed to the mall, I stopped to rummage in my purse for my medicine and, Lord, if we all weren't reaching for the water bottle to take our meds! We had a good laugh about our mutual decrepitude. Before they left, Lady T gave me a book by Thea Bowman, a Roman Catholic nun who died of cancer in 1990, Thea Bowman: In My Own Words

My favorite quote:

"Part of my approach to my illness has been to say I want to choose life, I want to keep going, I want to live fully until I die... I don't know what the future holds. In the meantime, I am making a conscious effort to learn to live with discomfort, and, at the same time, to go about my work. I find that when I am involved in the business of life, when I'm working with people...I feel better. A kind of strength and energy comes with that."

So, ya'll. I went out and bought a new wardrobe. Jones New York and rocking some new boots. (um, Steve, we need to talk....)

Life is.

Cancer Bitch-Survivors Guilt

2010-10-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have been telling me lately that I look good - I don't look sick and I've actually gained weight (too much weight, I'm going to have to give up potato chips). And I feel guilty. I realize that I've been doing a victory lap in the last few months to say goodbye. I've given stuff away and cleared the decks and have been in waiting mode. Still partying, but also waiting. (I know, I know. I've been called on it)

The lab tech at my doctor's office (does my blood test) also mentioned how good I look. Over a month ago, he asked me to call his mother and talk to her because she had recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I didn't want to do it - what could I possible tell her? I'm not doing anything magical or even good. But I did call, didn't reach her and left a message. No one ever called back. Last week, when I went for my blood test, he told me his mother had died, 6 weeks after being diagnosed. He said the diagnosis came too late. But he also stuck me in both arms for my blood test. (Hmmm, blame?)

My cousin in Denver is dying of cancer. She has breast cancer and its metastasized into her sinus cavity and spine. They've asked her to go into hospice. I want to be there, but I've also got to continue my treatments. Guilt.

Its a fine line - trying to stay positive and take care of yourself, but also realizing this is one battle I might not win. I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself and wallow in depression twice a month, when I'm home on chemo. Otherwise, I'm still having a great time and have no intention of slowing down!

The photo is from a trip to Gettysburg National Military Park. Steve and I climbed to the top of Big Round Top to take landscape pictures (couldn't because of all the trees). Had a candlelight dinner at the Dobbin House and toured. I tried climbing onto the rocks at Little Round Top to take pictures, slipped and fell - on the camera. So, okay, adventure - with limits.

And now, a random video that just makes me happy! Haven't seen the movie "Secretariat" yet, but I'm working on it. Know what else makes me happy? Friends and family. Thanks for being there for me.

Cancer Bitch and Crazy Cancer Bitch

2010-09-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

I've always swung back and forth on Elizabeth Edwards. I've admired her fight against breast cancer, admired her books - then "Game Change" was published and I read about the "abusive, intrusive, paranoid and crazy" Elizabeth Edwards. Who is this woman?

Last week I watched the "Nate Berkus Show and his interview with her was fascinating. She's opened her own interior design store, "Red Window," because she wanted something for her future that had nothing to do with her past. She talked candidly about her divorce from John Edwards. (hasn't decided yet what to do with the photos of the two of them hanging on the wall) She said they are amicable - "I see the father of my children, and that’s very important to me. Particularly since I have a terminal disease, this is the person who at some point will take over the primary parenting, and it’s important to me that he heals if he needs too."

She knows she has a year, maybe two, and described her life as "a sled going downhill." She also said she's accepted John's baby with Rielle- going as far to say she'd thought about buying stuff at Baby Gap - because the child was innocent and would be growing up with her kids after she was gone. But she hasn't quite forgiven him yet. Oh, and she also admitted she's a bargain shopper:

The interview was taped at her house in Chapel Hill. She was supposed to appear live later on in the show but instead skyped in from North Carolina - she's on a new cancer medication, looked frail and had lost her hair again. Damn, I'm starting to admire her again.....

Cancer Bitch and Fear at Hopkins

2010-09-17T17:59:00.000-07:00

All of this madness occurred Thursday - fortunately, my appointment was on Friday. My appointments are in the Weinberg Building, next door to Nelson. It was all my nurses today could talk about. They said Thursday it was business as usual, even though they were in lockdown - too many patients depending on treatment - so they kept working. Wow. I'd have been ready to run for the hills!

Now for the good news. It seems I've won the lottery - at least as far as pancreatic cancer is concerned. The CT scan shows my tumor has shrunk a little bit more, so the doctor is going to have me undergo two more rounds. Steve asked what happens after that, and Dr. Zeng didn't know - he says pancreatic cancer patients don't usually make it to this point. So I guess I was kind of premature in giving away a bunch of my stuff. And, yes, I will take better care of myself. No more nightly ice cream binges. ("Lemon Custard" day isn't until September 24 at Milwaukee Custard)

Cancer Bitch Takes a Snooze

2010-09-07T19:53:00.001-07:00

This week's weird symptom: everytime I nod my head forward, the bottoms of my feet tingle. No one can explain why this happens - the doctor just looks at me and says, "chemo isn't doing this." The nurse told me I can avoid this by not nodding my head.

My chemo session went well this week - got in and out in record time, and slept through the entire procedure. The nurse actually had to wake me up to unplug me. Marlis was my driver - we got back early enough to get lunch and make a "Ross" run.
Next week I get yet another CT scan and have a meeting with my Doctor.

I blame "chemo brain" for forgetting that my wedding anniversary was a celebration of 17 years of marriage - not 15, and not 18! I don't do math. It was a wonderful weekend. Mary and Phil flew in from Idaho for the Boise State game and we had Saturday brunch at Eastern Market. (fish breakfast with North Carolina grits and scrambled eggs). We also bought homemade Pop Tarts at another restaurant.

Steve and I went out to a wonderful dinner at the Old Anglers Inn (I had scallops, he had Prime Rib). Sunday we went over to Mike and Geri's for dinner and other friends surprised us there. (Pound Cake with Chambord Sauce!) Thank goodness I still have an appetite.
We have wonderful friends.

Cancer Bitch Gets Served

2010-08-24T18:32:00.000-07:00

Today my posse for the trip to JH was a friend who makes a mean Chicken Tetrazinni and homemade Pound Cake!

We exchanged stories on the road about childhood run-ins with bears in Yellowstone (both times bears leaned on cars scaring the crap out of us) and hiking past steam vents at Volcano National Park in Hawaii (once again scaring the crap out of us). She told me about her new glasses, and I told her about my vision problems in May (which went away) and how I continued driving to work at that time. She went ballistic!

Told me that I was alternately gung-ho about fighting cancer and passive-aggressive with negativity - saying to myself I'm not going to survive this anyway and can therefore justify eating an entire bag of potato chips. Caught! It was so true I had to laugh out loud. That's what happens when you ride with a professional life coach. I had a huge chunk of her pound cake for dinner, but I'll have a salad and lots of fruit tomorrow.....

Cancer Bitch - "No Grits No Glory"

2010-08-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

We're back from a whirlwind summer of travel - Grand View, NY; Parkersburg, WV; Pensacola, FL. Am now back on chemo and wishing I were back on the beach. We saw movies ("Dinner for Schmucks" "Salt" "Despicable Me" ate a LOT of food and actually got some rest.

Now, I loved "Lulu's" and "Rockland Bakery" in Nyack, and had fabulous "Grape Salad" in Parkersburg (yeah, I know its not really a salad - details, details). But my favorite place in Pensacola was the "Coffee Cup"(went three times) where I discovered the joys of deep-fried French Toast. Its a southern axiom that anything tastes better deep-fried and damn that French Toast was good!

My second discovery was "Grits A Yaya." They did a lot of creative stuff with grits in Pensacola (Nassau Grits also fabulous). But the "Fish House" restaurant's Grits a Yaya made with smoked gouda and shrimp made me actually consider moving to Florida to be near my new love. My vacation resulted in a gain of 12 pounds. Success!

(shout out to "Oh Snap" cupcakes in Pensacola where Mom was scandalized by the price of $2.50 per cupcake!)

My third discovery was I could actually take it easy and still have a good time. And when people allowed me to rest or when they offered help - I learned to accept it graciously. My cousin, Shenae, actually whipped up some "Spiced Pecans" when I came over for dinner.

You know this was a long time coming. I didn't want to feel like "The Patient" and I was determined to party as hard as I did before the big "C". But I learned, thanks to all who hung out with me this summer, its the people not the party. Took long enough....

Now my next party will feature giant cupcakes and Grits a Yaya. With limoncello!

A very empty Pensacola Beach.

Cancer Bitch - Gets Marriage Proposal

2010-07-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

Went to West Virginia over the weekend for a family reunion, but first we stopped at Johns Hopkins Friday morning for a CT scan. (I'm becoming an expert at those). Chris, the attendant, started a conversation about driving to Florida on family vacations (I'm an expert at that, too).

I told him the best part of the trip was stopping in Atlanta for lunch at "Steak N Shake." That sent him over the moon! He watches the Food Channel and raved about steak restaurants in Arizona and Texas. He said he was going to Philadelphia with some friend this weekend to tour. I told him he should definitely go to "Spataro's" for a cheesesteak, "DeNics" for a Philly pork sandwich and the Amish Market for Apple Dumplings. And definitely "Ishkabibbles" for Cheesesteaks on South Street - not Pats and definitely not "Genos." At this point Chris told me I was his soul mate and that if he weren't married and I weren't married, he'd propose!

Left JH to go to Parkersburg with the grand-girls. Had a great time in the hotel pool then spent Saturday at a Cornhole tournament. Went out to dinner and brunch. But was tired and disoriented on the drive home so I mistakenly called Dianne Burr and wished her a Happy Birthday (a month late. Meant to call Carol Van Dam instead. (now two days late)

Went back to JH Tuesday morning, where I got some good news - no problems detected on the MRI (the doctor checked them from China where he was vacationing). He also said the CT scan (thank you Chris) showed the lesion on my liver had almost disappeared and my tumor had shrunk again.
The bad news - one more round of chemo. Dammit. Any of the posse up for another trip to Baltimore?

Had to take a photo of the fabulous spuds Mary McCowin brought us from Idaho.
Can you tell which one is the real spud? We had stuffed baked potatoes for dinner tonight.
They were damned good! (at least the one on the left is - we're afraid of the one on the right! We're looking forward to lying on the greasy
beaches of Pensacola, soon.
And, for once, doing absolutly NOTHING.

Cancer Bitch - Now its Bananas

2010-07-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

(Brenda with friends doing her favorite thing in the world - eating)

About the only thing I enjoy during my trips to Johns Hopkins is eavesdropping on my fellow patients. (once heard a guy talking about his backwoods militia group).

Today the discussion was what to eat - one patient confessed to another that she had pigged out on bbq ribs and potato chips. I ducked my head in shame. I ate a whole bag of chips over the weekend! (and a carton of ice cream and all 5 desserts at tea with Jamie on Saturday)

The nurse told me my potassium levels were still high, and I confessed that I had given up on collard greens but I was eating a banana every day with breakfast. She gave me a look that pretty well said I was hopeless.

Went to Hopkins today so that we could leave for Grand View, NY on Thursday. Nelly has a job interview at a clothing manufacturer on Friday in Manhatten- I told one of my doctors about it today and she gave me a list of places Nelly could stay if she gets the job - including the number of her daughter in the Lower East Side! The power of networking.....

I'll try to do better on my diet - after we get back.

Cancer Bitch - When Vegetables Turn on You

2010-06-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

My chemo treatment was delayed today by over an hour because my potassium levels were high. They looked over my blood tests, hooked me up to an EKG - everything was fine and eventually I got the chemo. Posse member Beth and I drove to Silver Diner for lunch, then had to scramble for home when Steve called and said the home nurse had already arrived. I swear the fork was halfway to my lips!

I told Jackie, the nurse, about the potassium concerns. She asked me if I consume a lot of orange juice, bananas or kale. I had made a big pot of fresh collard greens last week and had been eating them every day. Case closed.

Some of you know that last Friday's trip to JH was a big old mess. I was scheduled for a CT Scan because my doctor was concerned about the occasions I experienced blurred vision and he said my face was no longer symetrical (like Lyle Lovett??). Turns out he had actually ordered a brain MRI. I knew it was a mistake when the nurse told me to drink 2 large cups of water to expand my bladder. What tha what? The MRI is now scheduled for Saturday morning. Holiday weekend.

On the way back from JH Friday, Steve, Doris and I drove to Ellicott City to meet sister-in-law Mary for lunch. We got lost. Repeatedly.

Today, we received a box from Amazon. It was a GPS system, sent by Doris. Steve loved it - got indignant-loved it. He then took it to his basement lair to play with it. I had only one emotion - THANK YOU DORIS!

Cancer Bitch - Baltimore in the Summer

2010-06-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

Nelly at the Wheel

Drove back to Johns Hopkins in the summer heat (just got home air conditioning repaired - now the car)

8:30 AM in the waiting room and I hear an incessant buzzing - like a hornets nest. I look across the room and an elderly woman is on her cell phone and everyone else is just sitting there, either reading or talking to each other. I finally realized that I has hearing vuvuzelas. And the elderly woman was watching the world cup on her cell phone. THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

Everything went well - even got out of there in record time. But the home nurse didn't show up. So now I'm exchanging telephone calls with "Home Solutions" while they try to figure out where she is and what went wrong and if they can get me hooked up tonight. If they have to do it tomorrow, I'll have to wait until Friday to get unhooked. We are not amused.

(Addendum - nurse called. 8:30pm and she's on her way. She forgot)
(addendum#2 - 10pm. Nurse just left. She's a substitute and no one told her she had to come today. At least I got my meds)

Also saw sign today at Camden Yards that pretty well sums up our situation!

Cancer Bitch - On the Upswing

2010-05-28T17:29:00.000-07:00

Got good news today. Dr. Zeng says the tumor has shrunk, and I've gained weight. The bad news - blood pressure is up and I can't eat just everything. (I've demolished entire cartons of Haagen Dazs with the excuse that I've got to get my weight up).

So, I'll allow myself the Eastern Market Lunch crabcake - I'll just skip the french fries and soda.

Also, got to start another round of chemo next week. Sigh.

Cancer Bitch Graduates

2010-05-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

I did it y'all! And the invisible posse turned out in force - whether at graduation, at the party, or with cards and flowers.

Mother in law Doris, Brenda and Lil (Brenda's Mom)

Doris and Mo drove in 7 hours from West Virginia, Mom and Sister Dawn flew in. Cousin Charles and Allene surprised me at the ceremony after flying in from Denver.

I came home Friday to find Gail and Doris cleaning the house (and questioning Nelly's boyfriend)

I appreciated every bit of it.

Now for the confession. I overdid it. I will now admit on this page that I am NOT superwoman. I cannot graduate, party all day, then do it all over again on Sunday. (Although "Iron Man 2" was the bomb) I woke up Monday feeling like hell, but understanding completely I did it to myself. (I hate it when Lynn is right)

Went to Johns Hopkins today, and everything went fine. I'll be resting for the next two days and reliving pleasant memories of family and friends over my own personal superbowl weekend!

Cancer Bitch and Drugs

2010-04-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

I'm learning many things on this journey - just because they give you a lot of pill bottles, don't necessarily take them. All. At the same time. And move them away from your bed so you don't pop something random at 3am and wonder why the hell the bed is starting to move like a toboggan at the Winter Olympics!

Had a trip to the emergency room after class on Saturday, temperature spiked to 100.7. I didn't want to go, I was exhausted and lethargic, but Steve dragged me into the car in the driving rain. I figure the emergency room visit would just make me feel worse - but it didn't. We went to Inova Fairfax, where, after checking me in, I was immediately shown a private cubicle (elapsed time 5 minutes). Two blood tests later, they said they couldnt find anything, my temperature had dropped so they kicked me out. They all gave me their numbers to check back on the blood tests and everyone was as friendly as could be.

Lets go back a few years - one Saturday night when she was 5 or 6, Nelly ended up at the emergency room at DC General. She had spent the night with a relative. Said relative called me at midnight and elegantly pointed out that I needed to meet her at DCG because Nelly fell against the corner of a wall and , cut her forehead, and was "bleeding and her meat hanging out." I was there in two minutes, they arrived in a cab (got mad cuz I wouldnt pay for it). I rushed her in got her checked then sat and waited for service. Nelly had a dish towel wrapped around her head. I spent two hours sitting amidst drunks and gun shot victims watching Billy Dee Williams informercials until I noticed Nelly was bleeding. I jumped up, dragged her to the counter, plopped her down on it and went all "Riki Tik" on their asses. Needless to say, she got immediate attention. I wonder if she would have that scar on her forehead if I had taken her to a better hospital.

Yesterday was a LOOOOONG Hopkins day. Got there at 8am, and was told I should have yet another CT scan, then chemo. This time both Steve and I slept through the chemo. The only problem is, and elderly blue-haired lady in the cubicle next to mine was arguing with the nurse about her blood results, "What do you mean I tested positive for cocaine? I don't use cocaine!" I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Oh, also found out that one of the drugs the doctor gave me was an "anti-psychotic" that fights nausea. Yeah, it also makes you lazy as a lizard and dizzy. They took me off that. And the $400 drug? There's a generic. Sigh....

We got back from JH at 5pm and found a wonderful treat in the doorway - a box of Wolferman's English Muffins, scones, coffee and cinnamon creme honey. Paradise!

What comes up, must come down. JH called tonight - have to go back for surgery tomorrow. Just. damn.

Cancer Bitch tries home remedies

2010-04-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

New round of chemo. This time, Lynn, a charter member of the invisible posse, drove me to JH, to the Blalock building, where I had a port implanted. Had to take a photo of Vivien Thomas and Alfred Blalock, even though, thanks to HBO, I'm always going to see them as Mos Def and Alan Rickman.

Spent 3 hours getting chemo, then got hooked up to a pump which dispenses chemo for 46 hours. The good news is - I'm at home during all this - the bad news, I'm nauseous and sleepy. The prescription for my anti-nausea drug costs $413, so I declined and went old school (think college dorms). A nurse will come to my home and unhook me Thursday. Unlike last time, I only have to do this every two weeks!

Got a mystery answered this week. On the way to JH, we always past a large brick tower and I couldnt figure out its purpose. Its called the "Shot Tower." Did they shoot people? No, but close.

Spring has sprung

2010-04-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

Easter was fabulous! Went on the annual cherry blossom walk with the girls (for some reason the guys complained about not being invited).

Grandbabies visited, and we had Easter brunch with the usual crew. I've learned that if I don't suck down a lot of meat and fat, I don't get as sick (go figure). So, I ate a small amount of ham, lots of salad and tried to hurt myself on the Red Velvet Cake.

Back to Hopkins today, where I was told I'm being taken off the Abraxin trial because my liver just wouldn't allow it. The good news is I'm still on chemo, starting a new regimen next Tuesday. The bad news - I have to get a port. Just damn.

I look on skipping chemo as good thing - it gives me a week of energy to study for the comprehensive test that I have to pass Saturday in order to get my Masters, and time to write the article I have due for class. It's all downhill from here.

Graduation May 8th!

Cancer Bitch Pimp Slaps the Bluebird of Happiness

2010-03-31T19:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, I confess that the blog is late this week because I spent more time in a funk. Labs weren't good Monday AND they insisted I get a mammogram right away because of something they saw in the CT scan from last week.

After demolishing most of a carton of Lemon Haagen Daz and part of an apple pie, went to Washington Radiology, where they told me that the lump spotted in the CT scan was probably a false alarm.

More depressing news: a local company that was trying to develop a drug to fight pancreatic cancer has given up. Fortunately, it wasn't the drug in my trial, but still bad news.

Now for the good news: spent last weekend and will spend this coming weekend with good friends. My classmates at American U have formed a team for the American Cancer Society's "Relay for Life" with a goal of raising $2,000 by April 17th. They've already raised more than $2,500. Go "News at 11!"

And I'm off next week! Time to munch on some chocolate bunnies....

No Wonder Poe Was Depressed.....

2010-03-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

First we were driving up in blizzards. This week it was Baltimore in the rain. Had to be there at 7:30am for more tests so it was a long day. I didn't get good news - the tumor has not shrunk, but it hasn't grown either. They're also now worried about my liver.

When Steve asked how long I would be in chemo, the Doctor said they didn't have an end date yet. Despite taking me to Cheesecake Factory as a bribe, I spent the evening in a blue funk.

Picked myself up by finishing my homework assignment, "DC Sex Scandals." If that doesn't make you feel better nothing will!

Another thing that made me feel better - some of my classmates are participating in the American Cancer Society's "Relay for Life" at American University. The team is called "News at 11" and they've raised around $1,000 so far. The relay is April 17-18 at Bender Arena and they plan to camp out at the Arena. Go team!

Last thing to feel good about - Nelly's back and she brought presents from Paris!

Cancer Bitch Takes a Week Off

2010-03-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

No chemo today. Just tests and more tests. Since this was a vacation from the drugs, I pretended I was in Paris with Nelly.

Since I actually had an appetite today, Steve and I visited Lexington Market for lunch. Reading Terminal it ain't. That place is all the way live. I don't think I've ever seen so many restaurants in one place selling chicken wings (stewed, fried, barbequed, baked, broiled and smothered). Also chitt'lings. Eeuuuuw! It was great to see something in Baltimore that had nothing to do with the hospital. It occurred to me during the drive up there today that my hospital visits were making me hate the very sight of the city.

Anyway, feeling good today and getting started on homework!

Cancer Bitch does too much

2010-03-10T07:06:00.000-08:00

Cancer Bitch copped a ride to the Philadelphia Flower Show with a group of crazed women journalists. The flower displays were gorgeous. I especially liked the decorated cargo containers. But as usual with the Flower Show - its not the flowers its the food and drama...while leaving the parking lot in our mini-van we witnessed our parking attendants meltdown. One began beating his partner over the head and shoulders with his orange flag, while the other aimed karate kicks at his tormentor. We left Philly in a hurry!

Sunday, I had lunch with CSU pals Beverly and Ellen. We looked at yearbooks and remembered life at Moo U. Steve and I also attended the Tuckers Oscar party, where I correctly guessed the most Oscar winners. I won(?) the Tucker Oscar Traveling vase. Someone is getting that for Christmas....

All of this to say I did too much. When I went to chemo Monday, my white cell count was down, and I had to admit to the nurse that I had NOT worn my face mask while venturing out in public and had probably picked up all kinds of germs and viruses. As a result, I only received one of the two chemo drugs. I wore my fedora to Johns Hopkins Monday, my face mask, and with my glasses on I looked like "The Invisible Man."
I'm reading an interesting book sent by Sarah, "Black and White and Dead All Over," by John Darnton. Its about the murder of an editor at a big city newspaper. Obviously fiction. I also received "When Things Fall Apart," from Judy and Barbara gave me a copy of her book, "Fingerprints of God." Hopefully I can make a dent in all three before class starts again this Saturday.

PS: Big thanks to Marlis for taking on driving duties and for the hats and scarves!

Cancer Bitch - Road Warrior

2010-03-02T14:47:00.001-08:00

Steve took a Monday off, so Cancer Bitch had a new driver. Self-described "little old lady driver" (death grip on the steering wheel, hugging the right lane) Gail took me to Johns-Hopkins Monday. We left my house at 6:30am and arrived at 7:45am, a new record time!

We had company at the Weinberg Cancer Center, the ex-husband of a dear friend insisted on coming over and regaling us with stories about in-laws and weird law cases for a couple of hours. I hadn't seen him in years and was very grateful for the visit. Was glad to introduce Gail to "5 Guys" (she called it 5 boys). For some reason, after chemo I always get a craving for Cajun fries. Our potatoes that day came from Shoshone, Idaho.

Cee-cee and I aren't getting along. (my wig) It's itchy and hot. Last night, Steve knocked the wig stand over. I woke up this morning to see a styrofoam head with hair standing up all over the place. I really need to learn how to tie a head scarf, or get confident enough to rock a bald look ala Isaac Hayes on the "Hot Buttered Soul" album.

Cancer Bitch as Pin Cushion

2010-02-22T13:54:00.000-08:00

Seriously? They could find a vein but couldn't put the needle in for chemo?

5 times???? And it took 2 different lab techs? While I was jumping out of the seat with each jab of the needle, Steve demanded to see a doctor, someone who could tell us why they could stick a needle in my vein but not be able to do anything else. Miraculously, after his demand, they found a vein. Needless to say, after today's torture session, my arm is black and blue.

I had to include a photo ( and a "Thank You") of some of the tokens that were given by friends - cards, angels, scarves and a big Teddy bear. Still don't know who sent the profane Valentine's day bear. That calls for some investigative journalism.....

PS: Today's Horoscope for Libras was a hoot!

"You're willing to take risks with your physical image. After all, hair usually grows back. And you can always change your clothes. You might purchase a treatment or product to amplify your natural beauty."

Cancer Bitch Rocks a new 'do

2010-02-16T13:59:00.000-08:00

It's official - I have truly regressed.

After experiencing massive cataclysmic hair loss on Monday, I bought a wig today. I haven't worn a page boy in decades.

This, the acne outbreak and the American University hoodie makes me kind of believe I'm moving backward through time.....

Cancer Bitch is Fine

2010-02-15T09:53:00.001-08:00

This was a surprise. Saturday I got a package containing a little stuffed bear with a mouthy heart. No note, no indication of who sent it.

Just know I LOVE IT!

It came from Love is Lame, which has a number of seriously bent products.

Did the trip to Johns Hopkins today - this time no traffic, no snow worries, and we were in and out of there in record time.

Its my first Momless Monday in two weeks, and I'm missing her, but she's got a life to get back to. She's the one who taught me to keep busy in the first place!

Haven't lost a dread yet - but I'm noticing bald patches in between so I'm now trying to teach myself how to rock a scarf. Did you know they give you prescriptions for wigs?

Cancer Bitch and Snowpocalypse 3: The Snowening

2010-02-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

Yeah, you could say that we're laughing in the face of cancer. Or you could look closely and see that those are candy cigarettes.

Had a wild ride to Johns Hopkins yesterday for my third treatment. We left at 6:30am. Roads were snowpacked, cars spun out everywhere. Steve got us in at 8:45 am.

Guess what? Their staff didn't make it. The trial nurse was no where to be found, not enough people in the lab.

We didn't leave Baltimore until almost 5pm. Came straight home and got in the bed.

So far, the chemo has exhausted me and caused nausea, but I haven't lost my hair. Yet. Every day I wake up and yank a dread just to see. Don't want to lose them while walking around in public. I also now have the complexion of a hormonal teenager. Damn.

Mom and I watched movies all weekend, including "Something the Lord Made." While were at Johns Hopkins I showed her the Blalock Wing - didnt get a chance to see the portraits, though...

Cancer Bitch- Angels in America

2010-02-02T14:12:00.001-08:00

First an update. Second chemo at Johns Hopkins yesterday. Had to be there at 8:30am, hence at 630am departure. This time I remembered my I-Pod and I tried lying there doing guided meditations, but there was too much background noise. I ended up closing my eyes and rocking out to the "Black Eye Peas" and "Lady Gaga" among others. When I heard Steve and Mom laughing, I figured maybe I shouldn't sing along.....

This time after chemo I was completely wiped out. Slept the whole way home, most of the afternoon, and made myself wake up at 9pm to fight sleepiness and nausea for 2 hours until I finally went to bed. The bad news yesterday, found out I have to give up liquor, fatty foods, and grapefruit. The good news - can't pick up after the dog anymore!

Sometimes I get so caught up in illness I forget about the good things that have resulted, and the angels that are in my life. So, in lieu of a proper "Thank You" card -

Thanks to those who sent scarves for my pending baldness;

Thanks to everyone who sent books - I'm still not convinced you-know-who actually finished "Game Change;"

Thanks for my stuffed bear and the clothing to replace my baggy pants;

Thanks to everyone who has taken us out to lunch and dinner;

Thanks for my private yoga lesson - I'm continuing to practice on an online site;

Thanks for the home delivery of Trader Joe's Italian Blood Orange Soda;

Thanks for all of the cards and letters;

Thank you for my invisible posse.

"Cancer Bitch" may just have to change her name to "Blessed." Then again, that just might be the Oxycodeine talking......

Cancer Bitch - Chemical Warfare

2010-01-25T17:42:00.000-08:00

I have a new definition of hell.

Its sitting for over an hour in a hospital waiting room, and listening to a nearby kid constantly playing the song "Witchdoctor" by the Chipmunks.

"I Told The Witch Doctor You Didn't Love Me true!
And Then The Witch Doctor He Told Me What To Do!
He Said That:
Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ahah to the ting to the tang the wallawalla bingbang
Ooh to the eeh the ooh the ahah ting tang wallawalla bingbang"

By the tenth airing, even the parents had enough and decided they'd rather tolerate screaming from their kid than another round of helium-infused rodent voices.

Another day of doctors rounds, more puncture marks - but I finally got a chemo schedule today. Every Monday through March 1st, at the crack of dawn. Had some nausea after the first treatment, but so far, so good...

Cancer Bitch - Progress

2010-01-22T11:41:00.001-08:00

Got my chemo schedule. I'll be on Gemcitabine and the new drug. Finally!

The bad news is - the dreads are going to go. I'll be rocking the funky hats and head scarves.

The only reason chemo isn't scaring me yet is because my new teacher has given out about 20 assignments in the past week.

So for now, I'll concentrate on "best practices of the AU website" and compare and contrast to the competition.

Let the games begin!

Cancer Bitch - On Ice

2010-01-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

After a day of tests at Johns Hopkins Wednesday - I waited for the phone call - the one telling me when I would begin chemo, Thursday or Friday. Instead the nurse called and said they don't have the test results in yet - my Bilirubin was above normal last time and they want to wait until they have the labs in before starting chemo. Would Monday do?

I pitched a fit - to no avail - pointing out that both my husband and I have to schedule time off our jobs for this. "Well, I'm sooo sorry for the inconvenience," she said before hanging up the phone. Or did I hang up first. I was too angry. So are my labs bad because I'm not receiving treatment? I have an appointment tomorrow with the Alexandria oncologist. I'm tempted to let him takeover.

I'm also well beyond being a good patient and am angry, sorry for myself, and tired of smiling and keeping a stiff upper lip. F$%^ this!

Cancer Bitch Gets a Guardian Angel

2010-01-19T06:14:00.000-08:00

What could have been a sad and somber trip to Huntington, WV culminated in a joyous homegoing for my sister-in-law Karla. There was no funeral service, just a gathering of friends and loved ones.

My step-daughter wrote a wonderful eulogy, which included,

"Friends and family will most miss her infectious laugh and joy of life and encourage others to come celebrate her life between 2 and 4 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 16, 2010, (leaving plenty of shopping time afterward) . The family would like to thank the supportive staffs at Ohio State University medical centers and Hospice of Huntington. In lieu of flowers Karla would probably appreciate donations to The Arthur G. James Cancer Hospital in Columbus, Ohio; the Joan C. Edwards Comprehensive Cancer Center in Huntington; or, The Emogene Dolin Jones Hospice House in Huntington."

All of this left me more determined than ever to fight this. My husband and his family deserve a break from grief. We also bought a Powerball ticket while in Huntington because we figured one family can't have all this horrible luck without some occasional good luck!

Okay - the human pin cushion is back in DC. Had a PET scan today and they lied - there were no puppies! Then they took more blood. Back tomorrow - still don't know which drug protocol I've been assigned. Sigh....

Cancer Bitch

2010-01-12T15:17:00.000-08:00

Met with the clinical trial staff at Johns Hopkins today. Gave more blood, gave more CT scan. Damn. I've had more MRI's, CT scans and EKG's in the past 2 months than I've had in my entire life!

Chemo starts next week, either Wednesday or Thursday. Depending on which trial I'm in, I may or may not lose my hair. Nelly was disappointed - she already had a nice wig picked out for me.

I've been avoiding some of the pancreatic cancer web sites. As my gangsta Aunt sometimes says, "you saw it, but you didn't see it."

For the time being I'll just focus on being positive, soak up the love coming my way, and take it one step at a time....

Cancer Bitch - Big "C" needs to back up off my Friends and Family!

2010-01-11T20:21:00.000-08:00

Karla died today. She was such a force of nature and so full of life that its hard to believe. Steve flew to University of Columbus Medical Center last year to provide a bone marrow transplant - and for a while the news was so good! But she went into decline just before Christmas. There is nobody like her. Thank you, Karla, for introducing me to the joys of Gabriels, "real" pepperoni rolls, and Huntington Yard Sales!

Goodbye also to Marcia Slacum Greene, whose memorial service takes place Tuesday. I'll miss it, as I have to trek up to Johns Hopkins for tests and paperwork. Steve says he's holding up fine, but I don't believe him for one second.

Cancer Bitch-Glacial pace

2010-01-10T08:50:00.000-08:00

Heard from Johns Hopkins late Friday afternoon - They want me to come up on Tuesday and check in with the nurses, sign papers, etc. Still no schedule on when I start chemo.

Lots of friends checking in and just letting me know they have my back. It means a lot. I'm angry, disappointed and just plain frustrated. Every time I see the commercial with the theme song, "When I grow up I want to be an old woman," I just want to throw something at the set.

I'm sending prayers to Huntington, where Steve's sister, Karla, is now in hospice.

Cancer Bitch - Now we're talkin'

2010-01-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

Johns Hopkins says Cigna has okayed the clinical trial. They'll let me know when I can start.

The bad news is that Steve's big sister, Karla, is still hospitalized in Columbus, fighting cancer.
And, Marcia Slacum Greene died of pancreatic cancer today. One of the nicest ladies I've ever met.

Trying to stay strong.

Cancer Bitch - I am NOT a patient person

2010-01-05T06:46:00.000-08:00

Still waiting for the go ahead from Cigna for chemo treatments at Johns Hopkins. This needs to get going already.

Also, went back to work yesterday. Turns out I don't have as many sick days as I thought. As of January 1, 2010, all of last years sick days went away and I start the New Year with 7. 7 sick days. The day went fine, in spite of a few "Dead Man Walking" looks of pity. Pace yourselves, y'all. I'm back through Thursday.

2010 Cancer Bitch

2010-01-02T05:23:00.000-08:00

Well I definitely started the New Year with a fucked up attitude. But after lying in bed for days on end wearing the same sweat pants, I figured that wasn't working for anybody. We went to a friend's house for New Year's Eve games (dominos, bid whist). Although I was still wearing the sweats it was a start. Mom insisted I check out the "blue moon." A full moon that occurs twice in one month. It wasnt blue, but it was beautiful.

New Years Day went to another party - this time I managed to pull together an outfit - nothing fits anymore, but what the hell - I made the effort. It felt good to get out and good to see friends - particularly one who wants to talk to me about her cancer ordeal. So for now, I'll try to stop the pity party.

I did hear from Johns Hopkins - we start the chemo clinical trial AFTER my health insurance company approves it. WTF.

Cancer Bitch - Wednesday Edition

2009-12-30T15:45:00.000-08:00

Routine visit with Doctor at Hopkins today. Very routine. He gave me 3 options for chemo treatment and ruled out radiology - for the time being. Now I have to wait for the clinical trial nurse to call and schedule chemo. We called it a day and had lunch in Little Italy.

Back to Hopkins

2009-12-30T04:49:00.000-08:00

Back off to Johns Hopkins today (The Emerald City) to see what the wizard can tell me. Its cold, its miserable, and I have the distinct feeling that I will NOT see a decent crab cake today. I'm ready for them this time, too! I'm bringing an overnight back in case they decide to keep me overnight again - no butt-flapping hospital gown this time!

Monday, December 28th - the Birth of Cancer Bitch

2009-12-29T06:50:00.001-08:00

I avoided it all day. The doctors at Johns Hopkins had told me that they wouldn't have the results of my biopsys until Monday - but I avoided calling until late in the day. And, since denial is not just a river in Egypt they told me the bad news - its cancer and its spread.
There was a lot of yadda yadda about treatments and clinical trials, but I just climbed into bed and put the covers over my head. I gave myself 2 and a half hours (til 8pm EST) to feel sorry for myself because the "Community" marathon was coming on NBC. I did tell relatives - and they blew up my phone. I figure this time I'll try a blog.....

My sister in law, who has also had health issues at Johns Hopkins, says you go from "Good Patient" to "bad patient" real fast. The "Good Patient" waits patiently for every test and endures every needle, hoping that someone, anyone, can tell her what's wrong. The "Bad Patient" wonders why the fuck someone has to wake you at 3am to take a temperature!

Hide Your Children!

2009-09-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

Remember post-racial America? Anyone? You know, the days when the President of the United States could tell kids to stay in school and study hard?

Back in 1991 it was okay for President Bush to talk to kids. Nobody yanked their kids out of school when President Reagan did it in 1986. Hell, his speech was a political tome about defense and "America's agenda for the future."

So, now President Obama is accused of trying to brainwash the young. That's their parents job. Only parents can teach their children to disrespect the President. President Obama actually told kids they could do what he did - work hard and stay in school.

"Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide." From whitehouse.gov

What everyone missed was that if you play his speech backwards, at slow speed, the President is actually telling students, "support the health reform plan and kill Granny."

Former First Lady Laura Bush told CNN its part of the President's job to encourage school children. She said while parents had the right to yank their kids out of school and censor what the kids hear, "I also think its really important for everyone to respect the president of the United States."

Former family-values Congressman Newt Gingrich (speaking on Fox News and the "Today Show") also encouraged kids to listen to the speech.
If only the protesters could take as strong a stand for education as they do against the President of the United States.

Meanwhile, Microsoft gazillionaire Bill Gates is launching his own education drive. Gates' "Get Schooled Initiative" is a 5 year plan to boost graduation rates among high school and college students. That is, if they're parents don't object.

Frugalista, Recessionista or just plain Broke....

2009-08-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

Today's tip comes from Ed. T. Barron. Writing on DC Watch.com, he says those in mortgage trouble simply have to demand the "Note" from their mortgage company. This buys them the time they may need to get it together:

"Send, via certified mail and notarized, a letter to the lending institution requesting them to “Produce the Note.” The note, of course establishes that the homeowner is indebted to the bank for the mortgage. It is interesting to note that almost half of the banks who have been contacted by potential foreclosees cannot produce the note. This can result in delays of foreclosure of up to nine months while the lending institution scrambles to find that silly one-page document. With banks selling mortgages to other banks, it is very likely that your note cannot be produced. It also gives the homeowners some negotiating leverage with the foreclosing lending institution."

Rhode Island's Attorney General has successfully used the "Produce the Note" strategy to fight foreclosures. It's not a way to prevent foreclosure, but it can buy valuable time.

Can't refresh your wardrobe like Laura Steins of Harrison, New York? The Washington Post reports she's just barely managing to survive making a little less than $300 thousand per year. I'd love to sympathize with her plight but:

She refuses to fire the nanny
She refuses to move
She hasn't had to skip a mortgage payment
She hasn't had to forego a medical procedure for any of her kids.

But goll-dang it, despite the $2.5 million 4,000 square foot house, the rugs are worn and she agonizes over buying a sweater from Ann Taylor. (She buys it). What's a recessionista to do? (First step - fire your financial advisor since you obviously aren't listening to him/her anyway)

A colleague pointed out to me that this really isn't a recession story - its about a divorce. Great blog about it from Frank James.

I've long been a fan of clothing swaps aka "Switch and Bitch." Suzanne Agasi runs a website devoted entirely to clothing swaps - how to do it - what to expect, etc. If you can't be bothered, just come to my next session.

Valerie Elizabeth is taking this frugalista business a step further. She's keeping an online diary - wearing the same black dress every day, but dressing it up with accessories. She says her "little black dress experiment" helps women get creative with the stuff they already have. Get a clue, Laura Steins...

Have you ever attended a town hall meeting?

2009-08-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

(photo courtesy of ken_1001)

People are nutting out across the country about the health care reform bill. Well, the health bill is their excuse. Members of Congress are dodging chairs just like happy hour at a bikers bar. Maybe that's what they should be doing.

For so long, they would hold these boring meetings - an excuse to get back to the District - and they'd read their press release/prepared remarks and congratulate themselves for yet another snoozefest. Have you ever attended a town hall meeting? I haven't. I may go now - its cheaper than tickets to a World Federation wrestling match.

Even if many of the people attending the meeting aren't actually members of that particular Congressional District, lawmakers should be grateful for their presence. The media is breathlessly covering most of these town hall meetings. Look for incumbents running for re-election to recycle this free publicity - as clips in their ads to demonstrate their willingness to take a brick for Democracy.

Why Newspapers still dont have the answer....

2009-05-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

Nat Ives argues in "Advertising Age" that Frank Rich's idea - newspapers should charge for their offerings like cable companies - is flawed because the product just isn't the same.

Chhayal Parikh, of USN&WR

2008-12-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

Chhayal Parikh is a video and audio producer at US News & World Report

Will soon teach digital skill sets at Georgetown University
Former interactive reporter at Associated Press

2006 graduate of Interactive Journalism program at AU

Mark Foley Timeline for AP was one of more successful project.

When you're designing web page, make sure everything lines up. Gives it a clean look.
Mashups, flash interactives, journalism of the future.

Worked at Online Video Network at AP
Videos have to be 2-3 minutes in length

cparikh@usnews.com

Building Digital Influence

2008-12-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

John Bell , Executive Vice President and Creative Director Ogilvy Public Relations.

From his bio: "He has developed strategy and executed award-winning programs for clients including BP, Intel, Johnson & Johnson, and Lenovo.

He is currently on the board of the Word of Mouth Marketing Association. (WOMMA) and
Adjunct Professor at Johns Hopkins University's Graduate Program at the Krieger School of Arts and Sciences."

Social media + Digital Marketing=Word of Mouth

"I run 360 digital Influence, global word-of-mouth marketing fueled by social media. Its a big business that has become hugely relevant because of the economic downturn."

The company spends its time determining who is influential right now and identifying communities and networks of people.

How Ogilvy organizes itself and serves clients:

Put a lot of weight on listening programs
Planning - identifying influences - its not all about blogging ("of the 150 million bloggers out there, which 50 matter to our clients")
Better search results
Engagement "now that we've listened to what people are saying, what can we do to get involved"

Word of mouth organizing has an ethics program.

What Journalists can learn from Digital Marketers

Listening has big rewards .

Ogilvy launched a blog for the Dept of Health and Human Services, to help prepare for pandemic flu. Reached out to faith, business, health segments of the community to teach them how to help their segments get prepared.

"On any crisis there is a fringe element who you will never get to."
But key players in "flublogia" world invited into conference so they wouldn't torpedo program.

Knowing the new Influencers

"It is not enough in our minds to look at the Technorati authorities. We have to look at a lot more information to determine who is influential."

Discussed example of bank which wanted to build reputation as helping people manage money. Ogilvy found the influencers in how people think about their money management - "Zen Habits" blog, "The Car Blog," etc.

Bell attended discussion in Buenos Aires about who is a journalist. He feels it was a lot of discussion inside the tent.

Drew Ginn, Olympic Gold Medalist became one of the influencers in Beijing. He and other athletes were given laptops and encouraged to blog about their experience.
(Here plays video about Lenovo featuring Olympic athletes in Beijing. They talk about keeping family and friends updated via blog)

"These folks were the ones we engaged. They created media."

It was also an interesting way to get a global view. Bell called the Olympic experience a good step in the right direction.

SEO

Enhanced Search Engine Optimization - Bell says just making sure the web site has the right keywords in it and is submitted properly isn't enough.

Select Comfort Sleep Number Bed: They had a search engine problem, weren't telling story as thoroughly as they could have and found negative stuff on web. Search engine is now the new shelf space.

"They're gonna want to hear about your experience with the product, was it good or bad."
"Of all the chatter out there on the web," says Bell, "there were about 75 percent promoters."

He says there were a loose group of people talking about the bed, but most of them were not influential. He had to find way to elevate their voices. He pulled in any brand mentions into website, Beds.com. Kept negative comments along with positive.

Youtube has surpassed Yahoo.

There are 30 to 40 video sharing sites Ogilvy pays attention to. Also Flickr.

"Making sure there's content out there is not as easy as it sounds," says Bell.

Social Graph

Bell asked, "What's your digital footprint out there in the market place? Who are you connected to?"
Obama campaign went out with the attitude of being everywhere. Youtube, Facebook, etc.

"I have a couple of blogs, Twitter account, Facebook, My Space..."
"I syndicate content out to Womma, BusinessWeek exchange." Technorati tools, not so great. (they're not a search engine anymore, media company. Bell doesn't believe they have trustworthy information.)

Creating lists on Amazon.com becomes part of social graph.

Social Media Optimization - rules by Rohit Bhargava

Increase your linkability
Make tagging and bookmarking easy
Reward inbound links
Help your content travel
Encourage the mashup

Dave Romano, Digital Hashu p, very good at creating cool graphics.

Measurement Ingredients

"We're working in a highly measurable environment," said Bell. "This is about knowing what's going on out there in the marketplace."

Key Performance Indicators:

Engagement - Number of mentions, posts, comments, recommendations, mentions-per-user, Tone=positive/negative/neutral, inbound links
Reach - Page impressions, visits, emails opened, videos viewed
Conversion - the most important thing. Sales, votes, subscriptions, etc.

"We've moved beyond Engagement. Its the buzz word of our business - everybody talks about it, no one really knows what it means."

Bell says the measurement now is product preference. For media, did we create more favorability?

Becoming Your Own Brand

For your personal brand, Bell says you want to raise your profile.
"Yes, look at blog site traffic, how are you doing in search engine results? "

"Marketing and communications have become so complex, they can't work independently anymore."

"Journalism is still different. There is still a lot to be learned on both sides." Mentions Knight Ridder Foundation Community Journalism project and the search for different business models.

"Don't know if that's the model for the future."

"If you expect to make a living (in journalism) in the future, I don't see how you can avoid (making your own brand)."

"What is Huffington Post? Its a collection of independent brands put togetner in one brand," said Bell.

"Why couldn't a journalist establish an independent name for himself?"

Amy Eisman responds - "In the world of journalists, objectivity depends on you not playing your hand."

Bell says if there are limits to what you can build inside the machine - go outside the machine to build your own brand.

Examples:

Roland Martin CNN, Essence.com
Media Jim - network camera man who has built brand on Twitter

Bell asked if there still room for entrepreneurial efforts inside a corporate media job? He recommends looking into how branding yourself benefit the individual and the company.

email: john.bell@ogilvypr.com

John Bell on Consolidating Multiple Sources

From Print to Web Interactives: How to turn your brain around

2008-11-15T06:52:00.000-08:00

Moving from Print to Multi-media

Christina Pino-Marina told our Interactive Journalism class today that the future of journalism lies in interactive media. And the best interactive journalists can do it all.

"I started out as a news assistant at USA Today, and also worked at Univision. I had a sense of what TV was about, but always wanted to write."

Johanna Neuman of the Los Angeles Times was Christina's first mentor. She encouraged her to go to a smaller paper where she could write like crazy.

"It felt like a step backward, but in hindsight it was a move forward," said Christina. "Going from DC to El Paso", she says, "was a learning experience."

Becoming an Online Reporter

When job came open at Washingtonpost.com, it caught her eye because it was a reporter position.

"They hired me to do breaking news - general assignment writ large."

As boring as some of those things were, it was key coverage for WashingonPostOnline.

"The hybrid nature became known right away. I went out with a photographer and covered (DC Mayor) Adrian Fenty - I thought I would be the reporter and he would edit photos."

She says it didn't work out that way - the experience redefined what it meant to do video.

"Some thought it should mirror TV, and the other camp, mostly photographers...were taking the reins and saying we don't have to do it that way. I was exposed to slideshows, writing captions... There is no set formula."

First Big Assignment

It was the 2000 presidential election. Christina reported to work early. "I was there at 6 in the morning, with the understanding that site traffic would built around 7, 8 or 9am. I woke up and....we didn't have a president."

She was sent to Palm Beach, Florida - the story was changing fast and she didn't have time to keep up with it. There was a huge demand for filing online every hour, as the nation waited to learn whether the next president would be Al Gore or George W. Bush. She learned it was actually faster to file audio reports. Those first audio reports, she says, were really rough.

"We were redefining what it meant to file a story. It was still hard to picture that in addition to filing a print story, there was an audio story," she said.

"All of you will be called on to file for TV or radio, at some point in time."

Learning on the Job

The story doesn't necessarily have to be told in print, audio and video format on the website.

"Overtime, it became apparent we were duplicating efforts....just because you can do them doesn't mean you have to do them...we were bombarding our audience with different options...you have to do what's best for the story and audience."

"I thought I was better than I was - the more I learned, the more awful my earlier video seemed, says Christina.

"Video should be respected. There should be a little more rigor when it comes to editing video and posting it...I didn't show marked improvement until after a year....when I went to a week long bootcamp...I went as a shooter...my advice is find people who are harsh and listen to them."

The Future: Solo Video Journalism

While the story might be a team effort, Christina says online journalists learn that one person may have to do the work of a TV crew.

"You're doing the lighting, the sound, the editing....its a lot to expect one person to do all that well, so you have to really think in layers...but what has revolutionized this is the equipment...the technology has enabled this change."

She says writing is a great foundation to have. And she suggests studying video.

"It not only helps you communicate with other people, but helps strengthen your structure and your ability to visualize."

The advantages of Solo Journalism:

The autonomy - print reporters aren't learning editing. The story comes together when you're editing piece.

When you're the one doing it (reporting/editing), you really feel those mistakes and you don't do it again.
You become better at making decisions.

CHRISTINA PINO-MARINA'S ONLINE WORK

-Ronald Reagan's Funeral

Christina played a video piece she produced the day of the funeral, when the Governor of Kentucky's plane strayed over US Capitol airspace and everyone was evacuated. It won first place in the "White House News Photographers Association" "Eyes of History" contest in spot news division.

"There was much more footage, but these were relative parts." They were so busy, she had to hand tape off to interns who ran it back to the office.

-Madrid Train Bombing Anniversary

Christina's video features interviews with people standing outside the Embassy of Spain - those at the memorial stood for one minute of silence.

"Normally with video, you don't have so much silence. I edited it that way to give you a sense of what it felt like to be there."

"When I covered the Virginia Tech shootings, I didn't have to cover press conferences - my concern was how do I shoot this in a way that is timely but that makes it look like something different from CNN. Its really difficult working solo and you'll probably end up working all-nighters."

-Blog/Video series on Mexican Elections

For this online feature, Christina produced 3 pieces and says it took 3 weeks to a month to produce them. She used a combination of self-produced video footage, video from Mexican television, and still photos. The election was between Luis Obrador and Felix Calderon. It also featured "Tu Rock es Votar," the Mexican version of "Rock the Vote" and she interview MTV's Latin America correspondent.

"Are the interviews too long? It's hard to tell," says Christina. "At time I was coming from a print sensibility....but when compared to NPR, they let those interviews go."

-A Life Lived in 4/4 Time

This feature started out as a magazine piece, then, Christina says she changed direction. Its the story of Lennie Cuje, who went from Hitler youth to jazz musician, inspired by Lionel Hampton.

"We were encouraged to think in terms of multiple platforms...it ran on TV. A lot of the footage came from the National Archives where, she says, many things are in the public domain.

"I probably could have done radio version...magazine version...if I hadn't been so exhausted...those are the things you're going to have to start doing...they're going to want to see it in more than one way."

Christina says it took more than a year to produce this story. It won the RIAS Berlin Kommission's award in 2007 in the new media category.

"This experience was really special...I had never had something like this."

HOW TO PREPARE TO BE AN ONLINE JOURNALIST:

Record Your own voice and play it back
Conversational writing
Summarize your story in a sentence - take a tip from Hollywood - become clearer
Read story out loud - record it and then listen to it
Stand up to record - energy level in voice is different than when sitting down
Don't rule out on-camera presence
Start small - do interview clip - good basic foundation to have

Suggested Tools

Shotgun Microphone
Wireless Microphone- makes interviewees feel more comfortable
Video camera
Digital recorder
"Final Cut Pro Workflows: The Independent Studio Handbook" by Jacob Osder

Christina Pino-Marina is a videojournalist who teaches online journalism at the University of Maryland and at George Washington University. She's worked at USA Today, El Paso Times, Washingtonpost.com, CNBC, etc. She was nominated for an Emmy for a video about Mexican elections.

And maybe thats why they lost

2008-11-13T12:18:00.000-08:00

Trying to get my paper finished for J-class. I'm writing about how the different political campaigns used the internet and social networking to get out the vote. Called the Fairfax Democrats. identified myself as a grad student, and talked to a nice young lady who gave me names and numbers and also recommended good book to read. Called the Fairfax Republicans and got a lady who told me I had to call the Republican National Committee for information. When I told her I wanted a local angle, she told me to call the state Republican party in Richmond and then hung up the phone. Called them, left message. No response.

They finally canceled "Mad TV". Its been a while coming, but that show used to be funny as hell. RIP Mrs. Campbell, Stewart, and Mrs. Swan.

"My Own Worst Enemy" and "Lipstick Jungle" were also canceled. Didn't watch 'em.

2008-11-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

The White House dog silly season continues. According to a Reuters article, Peruvians are offering their national dog to the Obamas. A bald, often toothless breed that, while hypoallergenic, also appears regularly in "world's ugliest dog" contests. The Director of the "Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association" says they want to give Obama's daughters a puppy, to be named Machu Pichu. Those poor girls just didn't know it wasn't going to be left up to THEM to pick their own pet. Welcome to the White House.

Getting Back to our Root.com

2008-11-08T10:29:00.000-08:00

Lynette Clemetson, Managing Editor, The Root.com, came to our Interactive Journalism Class today.

"The Root" is owned by the Washington Post Company....politics, etc from a variety of black perspectives. The web is egalitarian, anyone can come to the root - everyone is welcome to the party, but you should know what you're getting when you come to the Root. I began at the root full time in January.

How did "The Root" happen?

The idea for the site grew out of conversations from Henry Louis Gates and Don Graham, of Washington Post - they're both men who like good-spirited debate. There were a lot of signals on the web that niche publishing was the way to go. Part of the strategy for Post was to experiment in targeted web sites. There was a changing demographic, post -civil rights, highly educated black market. The idea ...was a cool idea, right after launch it became an incredible idea. ....We've done a lot of politics this year, because the year demanded it. You figure out what your audience wants, what they demand.

Here we are this week with President elect Barack Obama. ....understanding how to find your voice and serve your audience...Don't do sports or entertainment....we're not BET or Black Planet....not Tom Joyner....those sites are by and large entertainment sites.

They tried and failed....

Many sites.....tried to emulate print - and didn't succeed. Mentions "Emerge" magazine and "Savoy" both tried to reach new black demographic. The models on the web lean toward entertainment because people were afraid you couldn't sustain serious on the web.

Celebrity and gossip are the way things are going....but we've had nice steady growth for a web site....surveyed readers, wanted more politics, books and health.

Shows us page, "5 Hairdos Obama Shouldn't Have".

We do have some fun.

(here looked at "Election 2008" on Root)

Says European papers wanted to reprint Henry Louis Gates column, "In Our Lifetime", bringing up interesting legal issues.

"Obama's Missing Fur Coat" story was mixing of pop culture and analysis.

Standard news piece - profile on Michele Obama, was Roots take on Michele. How do you bring a web prospective and "Root" prospective. Must understand clearly that you;'re not delivering news and shouldn't try to beat newspapers at their own game.

Quite frankly, if you look at the downturn in the industry, a lot of newspapers and cable channels don't have that many black reporters anymore.

We've benefited from the downturn in the business.

Who and What is "The Root?"

Who is "The Root". We are a start up and are very very small. There are five of us.
We have no reporters - we're an all freelance publication. We have regular writers, freelancers who write for us every week. A lot of our content - somebody e-mails us an interesting idea and we decide to run it. Sometimes we just take a pass because we call up somebody quickly and they can't do it.
"If somebody works for somebody else and has a job, we can only make so many demands. That is a weekly reality."

Most smaller websites do a significant portion of traffic from pushing it out and from those coming in sideways. We do a lot of ours...sideways. Regular readers of TR are a pretty thoughtful bunch. The pieces that you write generated toward your group, can get another response from another type of audience.

Root Founder

Henry Louis Gates column - if its picked up on MSNBC, can get pretty hateful comments. IN the end we decided people know what the web is and you have to foster conversation and have to foster views - it would be out of synch with the web to turn comments off.

I know some websites have a horrible time with this....don't know if we get a more educated readership, but we haven't had any instances yet of true abuse, where you have to ban someone from the site.

People who wander in, get tired, because its not their space, and they just go away. People like to talk to people who are just like themselves....

One of our regular writers....wrote a beautiful piece, and his mother read it, but she didn't get that when she was e-mailing him, that it wasn't a personal email. She didn't know she must posting comments to the entire web universe.

We're an opinion site - its commentary and analysis, so the same rules don't apply as to newspaper sites. Even the analysis comes with a first-person slant - its a website that delivers its content with voice. But there are a lot of reporters with full time jobs who write for us, Charlayne Hunter Gault...but it never crosses into opinion.

More Root: Jack White piece - "A Thank You Note to White Voters"

When people come to a site like ours, they want honest talk about what we are feeling. We debate, we don't rant. If someone sends in something that's a long screed, with no grain of argument, we'll pass.

Robber Barons back down

2008-11-07T10:48:00.000-08:00

Spent another hour on the phone today. They insisted I talk to the actual twit who spoke to my son. He promised to send my money back. We'll see......

Robber Barons at it Again

2008-11-06T16:25:00.001-08:00

Was balancing the checking account last night, trying to figure out why we didn't have enough money to pay our bills, when I noticed something odd - I had paid our Bank of America Credit Card in September and October - but there were also 2 bank-issued checks to the same credit card in September and October. We didn't approve those! Called BOA today, after an hour and several holds and transfers, they informed me that my 19-year old son had answered the phone in September and approved the rather large telephone transfers. WTF!? They asked, didn't he have access to the checking account and/or credit card? Hell, no. Needless to say, I want my money back!

A new damn day

2008-11-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

I'm going through withdrawal. No more daily press releases from Bob Barr or the DNC No text messages from Michele or Barack - even Alec Baldwin. I was even averaging around 3-5 Robocalls each day. Danny Glover called me Tuesday and urged me to vote. The Richmond Republicans invited me to a rally. Now what? I feel like I've been dated and dumped.